


Heart

by SeverEstHolmes



Series: Heart and Music [13]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Heart, Heart and Soul, Other, mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverEstHolmes/pseuds/SeverEstHolmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is the Heart of the Duo... but it doesn't stop him from wondering what it would be like if he was different.<br/>Oneshot, Part 13 in the "Heart & Music" Series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock Holmes or anything else that the great ACD created. I also hold no rights over the BBC adaptations and additions of characters!

            "I don't know how it doesn't bother you…" John said, speaking aloud after a long time of considered thought. Sherlock Holmes looked up from the article about chemical bonding that he had been closely studying and stared at his friend who was seated in his armchair.

            "Why on  _earth_ would it bother me?" Sherlock asked sounding perturbed.

            "But that's the point exactly – the fact that it doesn't even cross your mind that you should be bothered is so strange! Haven't you thought about it in the past, or – I don't know… Have you always just not cared?"

            "Yes." Sherlock answered simply, though a frown had crossed his brow, John seemed completely baffled by this answer and he shook his head slightly whilst pushing himself up in his armchair.

            "But how… When – I mean…" John flustered attempting to pull together the rush of questions that had flooded into his brain all at the one time, but he while they were still mapping in his neurons he stared at his friend in a very blank, misunderstanding manner.

            "John, I don't at all feel that my not caring about other people has any bearing upon my cases." Sherlock stated very plainly. "Not caring what the personal outcome of a client is allows me to think logically about every aspect of the problem and not mar it with sentimentality." John sighed heavily; he could understand what Sherlock was saying: his distinct lack of human attachments allowed him to be totally ambivalent to all desired outcomes for any motivated party. But that stance created massive problems to John… How could any person go through life without a single inkling of feeling of compassion and loyalty to another person? How was that even possible? And if Sherlock did fit so completely into that category then was it true that he felt nothing towards the friendship that lay between himself and John. "Is that a problem for you John?" He asked in a slightly perfunctory tone; John stared ahead of him, collecting his thoughts into a proper order. The silence gathered in between them as John contemplated the mere thought of being able to just not care. What would it feel like to have such a completely emotionally devoid life towards absolutely everyone around him?

            It would probably be an improvement – not having to constantly worry about Harry or Sherlock, or any of his patients that displayed unusual symptoms, or just  _anyone._ He wondered whether he would have been a better army doctor if he had been able to cut through the concern and just get straight to the point of assessing and saving the people that he was meant to be saving… Or would it have disconnected him from the situation, would he have not felt any motivation to try and help those people if he didn't care. The thought of not having to worry about Harry had practically sold the thought of not having emotions; his life would have probably gone down a different route if he didn't feel for the people around him… Maybe he would have been sat where Sherlock was now? John had relaxed back into his armchair, turning his phone over and over rather absent mindedly in his hands, and not realising that Sherlock was keenly observing him. "No John." John looked up at Sherlock in some amazement at how he seemed to have read his very thoughts. "You would not suit this temperament one bit."

            "In what way?" John asked, very suddenly bristled by this assertion that something wouldn't suit him.

            "Because…" Sherlock started authoritatively and then tailed off into silence; for one of the very rare moments in his time living with Sherlock, John seemed to have completely stumped him for words. John looked at him as he was trying to connect a sentence in his brain, but what he came out with was not at all what John expected him to. "Your heart is your most generous and bountiful resource John."

            "I'm… I'm sorry – what?" John stammered in confusion, Sherlock sighed.

            "You wouldn't suit being cold or not caring," Sherlock answered. "You've got this… this immense amount of compassion and genuine warmth for everyone, even people we only briefly encounter. When we're on cases and we're dealing with a death my mind jumps to the science, to observation and deduction – but you… you instantly think of their humanity… You think about their mother, or their father, their siblings, their child, or their partner – you  _care_ about the essence of what makes a person human. You are so… so essentially human, and that is what makes you immeasurably invaluable. If you… If you were like, well – like me, and didn't care about everyone then you wouldn't be half the man you are now."

            John stared at Sherlock in a stunned silence because of this reply. He hadn't expected for one second for Sherlock to compliment the fact that he thought about everyone before himself and that he went out of his way to look after other people. He had always kind of expected that Sherlock might consider his empathy and his heartfelt compassion for others as a weakness rather than his best strength.

            "I… Thanks Sherlock, that means a lot… it  _really_ does."

****


End file.
